i had an interesting coversation with a male friend today. 

is anyone else like me, in that i never, ever make a move? i mean, never? i told my friend i don’t recall ever being the person to DTR, drop th eL-bomb or even express my feelings first, besides the chaos that was my major high school boyfriend.

my friend and i then decided to make things even more awkward by discussing how “taboo” it is to turn to a friend and say “hi, i don’t know if you know this, but i wouldn’t mind be naked with you some time in the future.” 

and then, because i am an asshole, i reminded him of the time he did that with me.  we laughed and moved on. and the thing is, i don’t really know why he did that (a long time ago) but i’m pretty sure it wasn’t for the “right” reason; not that there’s any real definition of that. i care for him a great deal and it was definitely not right for us.

Last fall i briefly got involved with someone for no “right” reason. he was a good friend whom i’d known for 13 years (longer than Mallory) and we haven’t spoken in about a year. 

that’s why it’s “taboo,” i think. because when you cross that line it’s hard to go back. it’s a test of your friendship and usually, you or he will disappoint. usually both. 

and if you really, truly care about someone, what could make you take that chance? seriously? some guarantee that it will work? i don’t know. i’d like to think i’d take the chance on the right person at the right time. 

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